this whole day is a joke. i have been gone the whole week and the only day i come back should have been a great day. i mean its friday and i have no make up work to do. but i no i have to deal with a lying ass bitch face advisor and a stupid two faced person who is "embarrassed" by us. its freaking stupid. i just wanna go on and on but i cant type fast enough. and there is another two faced person that is one person infront of her boyfriend. and another when its just us and another one she is around the other 2 faced person... and so on. it goes on like that for EVER. she is more like 10 faced. and it gets old. like they should all be wrinkly old ass grandmas on their death bed but they are freaking cats with a thousand lives that all seem to be around me all the FREAKING time!!!!! and buhghghghgh. thats a grunt if you cant tell.
and i hadnt ever blogged about this but i started liking a guy. same one from this fall. it fell through again. he thinks im gross.
heart broken again.
not like its the first time
but it gets old.
really old.
like what i said about that one's faces.
reaaaaaaaally old.
i wanna wake up someday and realize it was all just a terrible dream and ill be in 2nd grade again when we got weighed in front of the entire class. and ill weigh the normal what all the other girls do. and then i can grow up to be as pretty and skinny as them and i can get any guy i want and even be a slut if i choose to. but i wont because ill be classy NOT trashy. and ill flaunt what i have but leave a little for secrecy.
wouldnt that be the greatest life. then i wouldnt have to go through all those years of torment. all the mean names and looks and stares and giggles and fingers pointed that i have had to go through. all the clothes i couldnt borrow from friends because im 10 sizes bigger than them. stores that i can only look into because ill never be able to wear them.
all my friends say, "but al, youre funny and smart and junk." yeah well when i go out into the real world i dont have a sign hanging off of me that says "i have a nice personallity" no instead i have all this fat hanging off of me like a sign that says "i am lazy. all i do is sit on my couch and eat oreos and the only exercise i get is going back and forth from my couch and fridge to get more food.
no one in the outside world knows who i am. thats why i love this little community. thats why i want to stay here forever. they all know me and they know my story and other people dont.
thats all i can say for now. im almost in tears. and that is embarrassing.
madeline if you are SO embarrassed by that little moment in time then you should try being me. try actually working for things instead of just having the right last name. try being picked on when you were little. try that for a change.
oh and models do have to be pretty. photo shop it fake. just like you.
peace and love.
al.
No comments:
Post a Comment