Light My Candle

Prepare for rant blog. If you are easily offended by some of the shit I say, close tab now.
Warning.
Warning.
Rant blog.
May be offensive. Personally I dont care whether or not you get offended but I dont want you crying to me about it.
Last Warning.
k.
Lets do this shit.

So when most people enter college they go through what I like to call the slut phase. Now if you are not in college, or just a huge prude, I will go ahead and describe said phase. So slut phase begins usually for most people when they enter college. If they are starting before that, then they have more than a few problems. Anyhoosies. So you enter the college environment which for at least my friends is WAY bigger than our high school environment. So when you get into a new environment not just different in size but also quite a bit cultured and people start paying attention to you the way that they did not in high school, your brain goes, "oh shit now I'm horny. Maybe I'll just have sex with this one guy." Well that one guy turns into the whole, lets say curling team, and WHAMO you my friend have entered the slut phase of your life. Its even worse when you have a boyfriend and you still participate, but in the books that goes under cheating and that is a whole other rant that will probably be dealt with soon. So that is the readers digest of the "Slut phase".
Enter Alex's opinions.
I dont fucking understand it. Why do people think they can just throw their vaginas and penii around to everyone and their crazy closet monkey and think that its okay. Do you not have morals?Do you not want to like be happy in the future? I might just be like super old school but I think that you know, coffee is at least needed. Coffee with some decaf LOVE. Am I the only person that thinks that love should be in there somewhere? Not just mashing nasty bits together because we feel like it? And dont get me started on the phrase, "oh its okay. She/He is in college." THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO WHORE AROUND!!!!!

I'm not really sure if it is because I actually have morals or if it was because I was born with this curse of not being attractive to the opposite sex, or maybe its the fact that I believe in actually using my TRUE personality and self to get a guy instead of my looks, because lets be honest that is all i have, but I just dont think the slut phase should happen. When my partner of forever someday(hopefully) asks me what my number is, I would like it to be relatively low. Obviously not zero because you know, the safari incident, but still. Ugh. I dont even know. I cant even get my thoughts to form straight lines right now to type them all out.

Lessons of this blog:
Dont be a fucking slut.
If you're thirsty, get some damn water people.
Treat your body like the freaking temple that it is.
Find some love. Ya'll need it. Let it hit you in the face. Let it swallow you whole. Be so overcome by love that you wont even know why you ever even thought of taking part in this damn phase. And for you sake I hope it is a phase. Because once you find true love, you'll know true happiness.

peace, love, and stuff.
al.

It's Actually a Funny Story

"life is just a word till you live it"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELANIE!!!!

So funny story. I locked my keys in my car on Monday. It wouldnt be that big of a deal but...

• it is in Lizzy's drive way behind her boyfriend's car
• therefor he cant drive
• therefor he cant take in applications
• therefor he has no job
• therefor Lizzy is pissed
• it has my wallet in it
• which has my student id, debit card, and house key in it
• therefor I cant go to the caf and get food
• or go buy food
• or even go to my dorm to eat my own food.
• therefor im fucking hungry.
• it has my book bag in it.
• which has all of my school things in there.
• including my comp stuff.
• i have stuff due today that wont be getting done.
• might fail the class 
• dies
• I CANT DRIVE! 
• that doesnt need explaining. 
• it has my tap shoes in there.
• thats not as important but its something.

So yeah. I am having a great week. Actually it hasnt been that bad. I have to call Central Perk since they never called me back and I am going to call Bath and Body Works cuz I applied there a week ago and havent gotten a call so yeah. We have an audition for Blue Light Special tonight. I almost forgot about that. hrm.

So yeah, long, busy, stressful week. But I'm still thankful for everything I have.

peace and love.

al. 

Wedding Bells Ring, Are You Listenin'?

guuueeeezzzz!!!! So my sister just asked me to be her Maid of Honor!! yay!! Right?  Yes, I am excited. I didnt get to be a part of Andy's so being MOH for Andrea's is like a dream come true. I get to plan things and be in charge of things and buy a new pretty dress!!!

Only, there is one problem. The wedding is planned for September 21, 2014. That is school time. I plan on going to school in Washington. How the hell am I supposed to attend bridal showers, bachelorette parties and go dress shopping and all this other stuff if I'm going to be 30 hours away. That is four hundred dollars every time I want to fly or 4 thousand miles I would have to put on my car if I were to drive home and back.

WHAT DO I DO?????????????

I cant put my life on hold for this. I need to get out there and do my craft and keep going to school. But I need to attend all the stuff for my sister's wedding.

I need help.

peace love and stuff.
al.

I Drink A Glass Of Water Before I Go To Bed At Night.

"i hope you understand i have been waiting to leave ever since i learned that there are roads willing to take me any where i want to go"

I need to leave. I have to get away from Iowa. It has to be done. There isnt anything in Iowa big enough for what I need to accomplish in my life. I need theatre. I live for it. Its what keeps me going sometimes. Knowing that I can walk on stage and become a totally different person and not have to be me for a short period of time. I breath to entertain people. To make people laugh is what brings true joy to my life. I can't find what I'm looking for in the Hawkeye state. If I were Spencer, I would do the same thing she is doing. Staying right where she knows she belongs.

I dont know where I belong. I havent found that out yet. All I know is that I'm going to have to move far away to find it. My soul needs to wander. My feet need to walk where they dont know where they are going. My eyes need to see things that makes me never want to blink again. Corn is not that sight. Mountains? Maybe. Skyscrapers? Possibly. The Ocean? Sure.

This is for sure. I need to go.

This is also for sure: This scares the shit out of me.

peace, love and understanding
al.

Fast Cars and Granola Bars

I just found this letter to myself today on my computer and I would just like to share it with all of you because I'm like "wow, I'm smart!" :D

"I wish you could look in the mirror and accept the fact you do have flaws.

 I hope one day you’ll have the strength to accept those flaws and realize it makes you unique.

I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself sometimes.

 I wan’t you to know it’s okay to give yourself a break every once in a while.

As for your prince charming, he will come one day.

 Please don’t ever give up hope.

Stay strong.

 Do it for yourself and no one else.

 You have the whole world in your hand.

Love,

 Me"

So yeah that pretty much sums up what I'm feeling lately. I just want to go out and do me and be all I can be, but I feel like there is so much stuff that is stopping me. But you know what? I'm not gonna let them. If something makes me happy, I'm going to do it. I'm not going to let anyone's petty obstacles get in my way. 

On that note, I'm thinking about going to Second City after my time here at Iowa Central. Texas is still on my plate of things to do too, but Second City is an improvisation school in Chicago. Which like there are so many good things about it! Like its in Chicago, which isnt Texas, so its closer. And I want to improvise for the rest of my life. It is something that I enjoy and I'm not to shabby at it either. But there are good things about UT at Dallas too. I dunno dudes. 

Life is hard.

But I'm strong, so I'll make it somewhere! 

peace and love.

al. 

Blue Light Special.

So the title of this is the name of ICCC's improv team. That  I am on!! :D And we are pretty darn amazing! We just had a show like an hour and a half ago that ended a half hour ago. We are amazing! We are funny as shit. But the best part isnt that we are funny and make people laugh(which is an amazing thing!) but its that we are pretty much like a family. We all get along so well and we have so much fun all the time! And we love each other! Well except a couple but isnt that what a family is all about? But for realzies. I love them all to death! They have helped me grow so much out of a shell that I didnt even know existed. They challenge me everyday and they have helped me become such an amazing improviser. I wish that all the sophomores didnt have to leave. *tears* I have really found where I belong here, guys. I wish you guys could be here with me, but if you were I dont think I would have grown as much as I have. I do believe I have been changed for the better. :) I am really questioning whether or not I want to continue on to a university or if I just want to go do something like Second City which is an improv club thing in Chicago where like Tina Fey and those people came from. Wouldnt it be amazing if I was on Saturday Night Live or something?!?!?!?!?!!

So yeah I just wanted to share some of my happiness with you today!
I hope you guys find what you are looking for in life. I know all of you have potential to be jazzin' awesome!!
I love you all!

peace and love.
al.

her gers

hey um yeah i haven't bogged in forever!!! but i got a mobile app that can actually blog from my phone instead of just looking at my old blogs!

so my life has just been doing really well! i absolutely love being on the improv team!! i have definitely found my niche there!! and we have another show tomorrow at Central Perk and Desserts!! im so excited!! :) and all of my friends up here are so much fun! Jacie is like my favorite person right now! she is the one that got me through the musical! and we talk all the time and she is just... so awesome! and i have been doin lots of crafts and junk.

im happy!
but im ready for summer!!
gonna have a job and shit!!
i got a new bike.
i wanna ride it to class but it has been raining:(
next week!
ill try to blog more..

peace and love.
al.